


My Dearly Departed

by cardiac_arrest



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Fluff, Heavy Angst ???, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, That's it, basically i just changed mitch's family, happy ending ???, i guess, i think it is at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-02 09:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16784695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardiac_arrest/pseuds/cardiac_arrest
Summary: “I love my family,” Mitch said simply, grinning from ear to ear. Auston thought he looked so, so lovable.“They’re lucky to have you.”Mitch blushed. “Stop trying to butter me up! It won’t work on my Nana!”“We’ll see about that,” Auston smirked, voice soft.___Life hurts a lot of the times.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I am not Christian, nor am I religious. If my depiction of Christianity is in anyway offensive, please tell me and I'll either revise what I've written or maybe even take down this entirely. 
> 
> That being said, did you know that JT is actually from Oakville? He was born in 'Sauga and he went to a Catholic school which doesn't seem too surprising. 
> 
> Nothing I write in this is true, this is all fiction and I've taken a lot of creative liberty with Mitch's family.

Mitch grew up in a hockey family. A hockey town, really. Living in Toronto, a Leafs game was always on. No matter what day and what time, the Maple Leafs was a staple in his household and daily life. His classmates in elementary school always wore the blue and white jerseys with zeal as a regular everyday outfit. And yeah. Toronto grew strong, rooting itself deep into his heart. It may seem like it would’ve been too much for a little kid, but he just didn’t want anything other than  _ hockey _ . 

Although, if Mitch was being honest, hockey wasn’t the only thing important to him or his family -  _ family _ was. In fact, it was the  _ most  _ important thing. There wasn’t a day where he hadn’t smiled or laughed along with his them. With Chris, with dad, with mom, with Nana Sadie, with Pops. Until he was eight. Until mom died.

Bonnie Marner was a strong-spirited woman. She was kind, forgiving, patient, and so, so loving. She was the best mom Mitch could ever ask for. She would watch hockey with Mitch, letting him stay up way past his bedtime just so he could watch his favourite players zip around the ice and make pretty plays. She used to drive him to his Peewee games and watch, cheering for him loudly when he scored or made an assist. Sometimes when he had a bad game or fell, she would lead him gently along outside with his hand in hers and say, “You did great out there, Mitchy. I’m just glad you’re still safe.” And then she would smile, eyes crinkled with relief and happiness. He only ever associated her with warmth and comfort and safety and love. 

When she gave birth to Chris, Mitch was four. He doesn’t remember much of that; he was too young. But he remembers her telling him the same story - of him being so enamoured with his little brother that he had gotten him sick only after being a few months old. Mitch couldn’t help it. His little brother was pretty cool. 

And life then was so sweet. So happy. Sometimes, during the summer, they would go down to Wasaga beach and have a picnic. Him, Chris, mom, dad, Nana Sadie, and Pops. Sand would get into his shoes, and somehow his pants, and Chris would not stop eating it, making his mouth all dry which would then set him off crying. But they always got ice cream from a nearby ice cream truck, so that made up for everything. Not that anything needed to be made up for. 

So when Mitch thinks of his mom, he thinks of blonde flowy hair, tousled by a gentle breeze. He remembers bare feet, leaving behind delicate footprints in the soggy sand, washed away by lake-waves. There are only thoughts of tinkling laughter in the warm summer night, ice cream cones dripping while the background noise of  _ family _ and  _ love _ echoed around it. Light sundresses and gentle smiles. Brief kisses between his parents that resulted in a look so filled with love that Mitch couldn’t help but stick his tongue out. 

He doesn’t think of all the hospital trips, sitting in the waiting room while his Nana and Pops kept him and Chris company while the doctor briefed his mom and dad on his mom’s worsening conditions. He doesn’t think of his mom as frail - eyes sunken in and skin sagging off of her frame as she went through another round of chemo. He doesn’t think of the way her hand went limp as she took her final breath in the hospital, the machine flatlining with vehemence as the sound rang through the room. His ears were still ringing days after. 

He was glad Chris was only four when mom died. When Bonnie Marner had passed on from the land of the living straight towards pearly gates. Mitch cried. He cried for four days straight, slobbering all over his Nana and Pops as dad tried to take of Chris. Now that he thinks back, he didn’t know how his dad was able to handle raising him and Chris while a tragedy so big had affected him. And he was all the more awed and moved by his dad. 

He guesses that was when Nana and Pops became such a huge part of his life. 

They were the ones who drove him to games and practices, the ones who took care of Chris and him when his dad had to work overtime to earn some extra money. And he loves them for it. There wasn’t a single day where he didn’t miss his Nana and Pops. 

After getting signed with the Knights, Mitch had to say goodbye to his life that revolved around his whole family. Everything he did was already intertwined with his family, like a spider web woven with a tight series of strands. He had to get used to living with billet families, albeit only for a few years, and it had taken a toll on him. It was the first time where he didn’t have the support of his family at his fingertips and he just... dropped. Back in 2014, there was nothing he could do to score a goal for his life. There was something off, either physically or mentally. He thumbed the golden cross underneath his jersey before each game, whispering a prayer wishing that he could just  _ play _ . So he could enjoy the game and come back to it, And it hadn’t helped. There was nothing he could do. 

He finally went home one weekend, met up with Chris and his dad, and went to Nana and Pop’s house in Oakville. They had moved after Mitch started his Junior career, choosing to open up a tiny convenience store near a local high school. 

“Nana,” Mitch had whispered. He hadn’t seen her in months, and her familiar grey bob and homey scent brought him back to his childhood. 

“Oh Mitchy,” she had crooned, opening her arms wide to welcome Mitch into a hug as she sat behind the counter of her store. 

He had taken a few strides before reaching her in seconds. Then, all he could do was hug her and hold on tight. There was nothing like the comfort she offered him. 

“What’s wrong, my boy? You’ve grown so much the last time I’ve seen you,” she smiled warmly. Her eyes crinkled just like his father’s did.

“I suck, Nana,” Mitch whispered sincerely into his Nana’s embrace. “I’m so embarrassed for you and Pops and dad… and maybe even mom.”

“Mitchell,” his Nana’s voice turned stern. She tilted his head so he was looking at her. So there was no mistaking the truth of her words. “You are so perfect, to all of this family. You make us all  _ proud _ , your mom would’ve been especially proud. There’s nothing you can do that can change our views, Mitch. God gave me the perfect grandson.” 

Then she smiled. She reminded Mitch of his mom, even though she was his paternal grandmother. 

Mitch felt tears stinging behind his eyes. He blinked a few times. “Thank you, Nana.” He didn’t know what else to say.

“Oh, you perfect little boy, never change,” she had whispered gently, still hugging him tightly. And he stayed there. Mitch stayed there for at least thirty minutes, wrapped up in the safety of his Nana. His eyes leaked tears and his nose ran like crazy, but he had felt better.

It was what he needed to get his spark back on the ice. From then on, he finally understood what life really meant to him. Hockey and family. The boundary between the two was so narrow, sometimes he didn’t even know where one began and one ended. And he finally understood, his family would always be there to support him. And hockey? Hockey was fun. There was nothing else to the game he loved. He wouldn’t back away from it. It was his turn to change nothing into something. 

So he hit the ice running. 

***

“Are you coming back for dinner this weekend, Mitchell?” Nana Sadie’s voice chimed through the speaker. 

“Oh yeah,” Mitch replied. “For sure.” He was trying to make his cyclical dinner of pasta before his game against the Blue Jackets tomorrow. 

“Because last time you didn’t,” Sadie clarified, a hint of disapproval in her voice. 

“That was one time, Nana,” Mitch sighed. He had a game last Sunday, which was really out of character for his schedule, and he couldn’t go back to Oakville for the weekly dinner. And it really wasn’t his fault.

“You missed service,” Sadie muttered. Mitch could hear the petulant face through his Nana’s voice.

“Nana,” he said, dragging the last “a” out, “I promise I’ll come back this Sunday. For service, too.”

“Good,” Sadie smiled. “Did you lose the cross?”

“No, I didn’t lose the cross! Who do you think I am, Nana? Chris?” Mitch scoffed, kinda hurt that his Nana would think that he was as irresponsible as Chris. 

“I’m just checking! Are you still wearing it?”

“Of course. Every day,” Mitch replied softly. His left hand came up absently to play around with his necklace, twisting the golden chain around while his right hand dished up some chicken. 

“That’s good, Mitch,” Sadie said. “How’s everyone doing on the team? John doing alright?”

“Yes, Nana,” Mitch drawled. He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork. Nana always asked about Johnny because he was an Oakville boy. Having gone to the school right behind her convenience store, she was a bit biased towards him.

“And what about that other boy on your line? Zach?” 

“Still a renowned children’s book author,” Mitch said back. 

“Mitch! Tell me the good stuff!” A brief pause. “The secrets,” Sadie whispered. 

Mitch snorted, “what secrets?”

“Well if I knew what they were, they wouldn’t be secrets, would they?” 

“I don’t have any secrets, Johnny doesn’t have any secrets, Hymie doesn’t have any secrets. We all don’t have any secrets,” Mitch said nonchalantly. 

Sadie huffed, “I’ll get it out of you one day. Maybe you’ve been seeing a girl without telling me! The possibilities are endless!”

Yeah. A girl. 

“Okay, Nana,” Mitch sighed. “Was the purpose of this phone call just to make me come to dinner? And to talk about my nonexistent girlfriend?”

“Of course not, Mitchy,” Sadie scoffed. “Well, I’ll see you on Sunday!” Then she hung up. 

Mitch snorted again and pushed his phone away, watching the screen turn black. Of course, all she wanted was to know about his love life.

Mitch loved his grandmother, he really did. But sometimes she was a bit too much. Who was he kidding? He loved her for it.

There was a sharp knock at his door. 

“Just open it!” he yelled. Auston came tumbling through in his heavy coat. 

“Weak,” Mitch greeted him, bringing along his bowl of pasta and chicken and pointed at Auston’s coat with his fork that still carried a piece of pasta. 

Auston shrugged his coat off, leaned forward, and ate the pasta with a single bite. “I don’t want to catch a cold,” he justified. He threw his coat on the couch. 

“Dude!” Mitch exclaimed. “That’s hella dirty!”

Auston smirked with a scoff, “Like that couch isn’t dirty.” Mitch flushed a bit, turning around sharply and walking back into his kitchen. 

“You’re late,” he remarked, ignoring Auston’s latest comment. 

“Traffic,” Auston uttered stoically as he plopped down into a chair. Mitch quickly served up some chicken and pasta for Auston, thankfully not too cold yet. 

“Sounds like fake news,” Mitch shot back, eating his own meal. 

Auston stabbed a piece of pasta. “This is actually edible. You’ve improved.”

Mitch made a noise of disagreement, “I’ll have you know this is a three-Michelin-star dish.”

“Sure, babe,” Auston smirked as he smacked a quick kiss on Mitch’s cheek. 

“Gross,” Mitch frowned as the tomato sauce from the pasta made its way onto his cheek. He wiped at it with the back of his hand. “Just eat your dinner.”

“Did your Nana call today?”

Mitch smiled. “Yeah. She did.”

“How’s she doing?” Auston asked with a soft look. 

“She’s good, been asking about my lineys and bugging me about missing dinner and service. It’s alright. I’ll be going tomorrow for the whole day, anyway,” Mitch replied.

“Yeah, I know, that’s great. Maybe I’ll go with you next time,” Auston smiled.

“Are you sure?” Mitch’s face creased up a bit. 

“Why not? I’m your boyfriend anyways, gotta meet the family more often. Your Nana’s great anyway. Makes the best chicken,” Auston said with a grin. 

“Okay then, maybe next week. But you know what to do right?” Mitch asked with an earnest face, a hint of fear hiding in his eyes.

“Yes, Mitch,” Auston sighed, eyebrows pinching. 

“Great! It’ll be awesome to have all my family together!” Mitch said as his face lit up, the worry and fear melting away within seconds. 

“It will,” Auston smiled sagely, wistfulness in his eyes. Mitch beamed at him. He reached out a hand and patted Auston’s arm, squeezing it in a sign of gratitude. 

They would spend the rest of the night tangled together on the couch, watching live games on the TV or stupid documentaries. Mitch knew. There would be long makeout sessions that melted his brain and flushed his veins. He would never get used to Auston, even after a year. 

There was only so much he could do to keep both parts of his life together. Yet both of them were connected to family. His necklace was weighing down his body like soaking-wet hockey gear. 

How long could he keep going against the word of God?

***

Mitch arrived at his Nana’s house a little bit after nine. He had a quick breakfast of sugary cereal that was definitely not in his diet plan, leaving Auston lying asleep in his bed. But not without a quick note and forehead kiss. Heh. Forehead. Fivehead. 

He had misjudged the time, not expecting the long drive to be actually quite short. There was usually some traffic heading to Oakville, but on Sunday? None at all. 

His Nana’s house looked the same as it always had, a little blue wooden house with white window frames and dainty curtains. The thin layer of snow had covered the patch of tulips he’d usually see out in front of the house, the November chill halting all growth of greenery. He parked on the side of the street, the driveway already taken up by his dad’s trusty SUV.

He stepped out of his car, making his way to the front door. He stood on the porch, clad in his fancy slacks and crisp blue dress-shirt with his overcoat done up all tight, and rang the doorbell. It was something he liked to do each time he went to Nana’s house; he got to see her greet him.

The door opened to reveal Chris, a few centimetres taller than the last time he’d seen him - only being seventeen meant that he was still growing. Hopefully, he would never grow up to be taller than Mitch. 

“Hey,” Mitch greeted, stepping into the house. “Where’s Nana?”

“She’s making breakfast,” Chris responded as he punched Mitch in the arm in greeting.

“Ow,” Mitch said. He was taking his coat and shoes off. “That hurt. What are you trying to do kid? Injure a pro-hockey player?”

“Haha,” Chris shot back sarcastically. “It’d take more than that to put you on IR, you’re too strong.”

Gosh. His little brother made his heart hurt sometimes. 

“Gross,” Mitch said instead. “I didn’t know it was opposite day, bro.” 

Chris scowled. “I was only trying to be nice. I guess I’ll go hang with people that actually appreciate my compliments.” Then he turned right back into the hallway he came from, wandering into the kitchen. 

Well okay. The woes of teenage mood swings. He was only joking anyway. But he could tell Chris wasn’t even that mad.

Mitch followed the sound of clinking porcelain and quiet chatter into his Nana’s well-worn kitchen. It hadn’t been renovated since she moved in, yet it was clean and perfect in a homey sense. The wood grain in the cabinets might have had something to do with it. 

He found his dad sitting at the dining table that was covered in a white lace tablecloth. Chris loitered around the fridge, deciding what he wanted to drink. Meanwhile, his Nana stood at the stove, flipping up blueberry pancakes with surprising agility. He couldn’t even do that. 

He took a seat across the table from his dad, giving him a big smile. 

“Mitch,” his dad greeted. “Great to see you, son. You’ve been playing amazing. Keep up the good work.” His dad smiled so wide at him Mitch was afraid his face was going to get stuck. His Nana had turned her head around, trying to catch a look of him.

“Mitch!” Sadie exclaimed. She put down her pan and spatula, carrying a plate of fresh hot pancakes over. “It feels like it’s been months since I saw you! Eat some pancakes! You need all the strength you can get!”

Mitch laughed. “No thanks, Nana, I already ate at home.”

Sadie pouted. “You’re too skinny Mitch, you have to eat more.” 

“Not really Nana,” Mitch snorted. “I have a lot of muscle.” He fake flexed. 

“Put that away,” Chris said, making a disgusted face. “It’s nothing compared to my muscles.” He whipped an arm up, shucking his sleeve up and showed off his biceps.

“That’s gross,” Mitch deadpanned, swatting at Chris’s arms. Chris just scowled and slapped him back. 

“We’re going to be late if you keep eating at that speed, Chris,” Paul warned. He was cutting into his pancakes with a knife and fork, occasionally taking a sip of his black coffee. 

“Boys,” Sadie said, voice turning stern. 

You never wanted to make Nana mad by being late to service. 

“I’m already ready,” Mitch excused, putting his hands up in defeat. 

Sadie turned, “Chris.”

“I’m eating as fast as I can,” was Chris’ garbled reply as he vocalized through a mouthful of pancake. Mitch cringed in distaste while his dad just shook his head. 

Mitch loved his family so much. 

***

“You know, I always kinda hated this part of Sundays,” Chris whispered to him, sitting beside Mitch’s left on a church pew as Reverend Chamberlain droned on about the Ten Commandments. 

“Shush,” Mitch hissed. Nana was sitting on his right. He’d like it if he wasn’t publicly humiliated. 

“I’m sorry! This is just so boring!” A few people turned their heads towards Chris with a mildly annoyed look. Mitch tried his best to smile at them reassuringly without revealing his true desire to take Chris’ head off right there. 

“Shut. Up. Chris,” Mitch gritted through his teeth, trying not to make much noise. Chris huffed beside him and hunkered down. Gosh, he was still such a ten-year-old. Mitch didn’t know how he was actually physically seventeen. 

He tuned back into Reverend Chamberlain who was really getting into the thick of it. His Nana seemed to be hanging onto every word while his dad seemed ready to drop. It had only been thirty minutes. 

“...of course, everyone knows about the ninth commandment, ‘thou shalt not bear false witness upon thy neighbour’. Okay. So what does this mean? Don’t lie? Of course, lying is bad. But why is lying bad? Why has our Lord commanded us to not lie if it is something so simple that everyone is practically programmed to do? Well, we all know telling the truth is the right thing to do. And sometimes the right thing is the hard thing to do. But do we falter because something is hard? No! We need to push on! We need to keep our integrity! What will the world come to if lies flowed out of everyone’s mouths without a second thought? What would our families become? Our society? We cannot let anything happen that could break our foundation! It is always better to tell the truth early than to get caught later. This is why we need to follow our Lord’s commands, He  _ understands _ these things…”

Well. Okay.

This was a sign. He couldn’t keep pretending the two sides of his life weren’t connected. 

Auston. He loved Auston. But could he really come out to his family and tell them he was bisexual? That he had been lying about his loving relationship with a man for months? 

He knew his dad or brother couldn’t care less, not being very intertwined with the Christian community. But his Nana. She was a Christian, through and through - prayers before bed, chained cross always on her body, the nature of a caring and loving person that just wanted to better the world, and the  _ faith _ . 

Mitch always knew he needed to support his Nana in everything, even if it meant doing things he might not have wanted to do. He loved Church, he really did, but sometimes… he just really didn’t believe in the values. He’s heard it all before - God hates fags. Be loving. Be kind. Don’t lie. All these rules and expectations. And he gets that the Christian community means to do well, he loves their closeness. But he felt like an impostor sometimes. He was always hiding this huge piece of himself from everyone. From the people at Church. But also his  _ family _ . Because really, Auston  _ was  _ his family. They were it for each other. He couldn’t just abandon him.

Suddenly, he was hyperaware of the cross under his shirt. It felt like an ultimatum. What would he choose - his family or his other family?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitch’s lips twitched. He opened his eyes suddenly, turning towards Auston with a bright beam. Auston looked briefly surprised before the look melted into a fond grin. “Gosh, I love you so much,” Mitch whispered as he suppressed the urge to do something stupid like lay his head down on Auston’s stupidly broad shoulders.
> 
> Auston’s eyes melted even further. “I love you,” Auston replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suggested songs for listening:  
> circle k by hawai (less sad)  
> soda by nothing but thieves (slightly more sad)
> 
> #no thank you bruins.
> 
> have fun reading.

Mitch’s week starts out pretty good, with the main event being Willy’s signing. He’d been waiting on it to happen since _forever_. Or at least it felt like it.

It kind of scared Mitch too. Was that what it was going to be like when he had to think about his contract next year? He didn’t really want to go through such a long dispute. Hopefully, Kyle would be able to figure something out with him much quicker. (There was also the possibility of that happening with Auston, but he really didn’t want to think about that.)

But yeah. Willy signed. It felt amazing to have him back. It was like there was something missing in his team. He kinda forgot what it was like to hug him. But he’d remedied that as soon as he saw him, with a ridiculous dance that made Willy laugh followed by a big embrace. It was fun seeing Kappy’s reaction to that too.

“But, uh, just gave him a hug and said ‘congrats on the new contract’,” Mich said, looking around the ring of reporters crowding him. He was trying not to look at the cameras.

Nylander questions weren’t really of a surprise. Who was Mitch kidding? They were the only questions he’d expect to be asked for the next month. He had to admit, those questions were really tedious. He would give the media an answer, then have to repeat the same thing word for word the next day. But he would gladly give them an answer. unlike Auston who had practically given up on being civil with the Toronto reporters. Not that Mitch would ever blame him, even his hard-kept resistance against irritable questions was letting him down sometimes. But during times like that, he’d just focus on the next thing he was looking forward to - usually Sunday lunch or dinner.

It was quite a relief when the scrum finally broke, allowing him to wander back into the locker room where everyone was harassing Willy. There was hockey gear strewn about everywhere, laughter and jeers ringing around the room. There was the hot, humid feeling that usually came with a changeroom crammed full of sweaty hockey players. But it felt even warmer in there as it was rowdier than usual.

“Yeah, Willy!” Naz shouted, drawing the ‘y’ out. He held Willy in a chokehold, messing up his slicked-back hair with his knuckles and crumpling the green suit was wearing. Mitch laughed loudly as Willy tried to hide his grin behind feeble protests.

“Stop, Naz! You’re gonna have to pay for my hairstyling!”

Kappy snorted, half-way out of his pads, “you admit you went to a hairstylist for this?”

Willy squawked, “I never said that! Stop putting words in my mouth! I see that you’ve all ganged up on me after a few months!”

The whole room erupted into laughter, including Mitch. He had to lean against his stall so he didn’t fall down.

“Aw, Willy, we would never,” Gards said as he crossed the room. He quickly smacked Willy on the ass with his practice jersey, smirking as a sharp yelp was drawn out from Willy.

“You guys are being really mean!” Willy exclaimed, plopping down beside Kappy with a fake frown.

Mitch grinned.

“Hey, you’re earning that six point nine mil now, someone’s gotta keep your ego in check,” Auston chirped, packing all his pads into his bag.

“Yeah, Willy, sixty-nine,” Mitch added, wiggling his brows. He giggled.

Willy pouted.

“It’s okay Will, I’ve got your back,” Hymie said.

Willy shook his head. “That’s a lie! You’re only trying to lull me into a false sense of security so you can chirp me later!”

Mitch snorted and walked over to Auston, giving JT a fist bump as he walked past him.

“Ridiculous, eh?” he smiled as he leaned into Auston’s personal space. He was only a bit high on all the cheery atmosphere.

“Very,” Auston grinned back. Mitch had to say, it took a lot of energy to not kiss Auston straight on the mouth.

“It’s good to have him back,” Mitch sighed, closing his eyes briefly in relief.

“Yeah,” Auston replied, mouth thinning into a line. “I’m glad we’re still a family.”

Mitch’s lips twitched. He opened his eyes suddenly, turning towards Auston with a bright beam. Auston looked briefly surprised before the look melted into a fond grin. “Gosh, I love you so much,” Mitch whispered as he suppressed the urge to do something stupid like lay his head down on Auston’s stupidly broad shoulders.

Auston’s eyes melted even further. “I love you,” Auston replied.

Mitch teetered on his feet, stopping himself from practically falling into Auston’s lap. He sat down beside Auston tersely. He couldn’t.

Auston looked over in concern. His shining smile faded, eyes growing dimmer at the prospect of what Mitch could be thinking.

“Willy got you fainting at his return, huh?” Naz shouted at Mitch playfully. He meant no harm. Mitch knew.

Mitch smiled shakily, “it’s good to have him back.”

Auston nudged him slightly with his left leg. Mitch brought his hand down slowly and squeezed Auston’s knee. _I’m fine._

  
  


Later that night, in celebration of Willy’s return, almost everyone piled into Willy’s apartment for a get-together. Video games, TV shows, takeout, and alcohol. What more could there be to a reunion?

“Pass me another beer!” Naz said from the far end of Willy’s spacious living room. He was yelling to no one in particular.

“Get it yourself!” came Gards’s response who was actually pouring out a glass of wine for Mo.

“You guys are depleting all my resources,” Willy complained, smushed between Hymie and Kappy on his big sofa. Gards turned to Mo with a concerned look, mouthed the word ‘resources’. Mo just shook his head silently.

“You can put that salary into use,” Kappy dismissed, shooting at a random guy on the screen.

“Do you want me to take that controller away from you?” Willy threatened with narrowed eyes. That only made him look ridiculous with his half-shaved beard and stringy hair.

“You can try,” Kappy smirked.

Mo returned from the kitchen counter with his wine. “Hey! Don’t try to start anything!”

Auston snorted, burrowed into the smaller couch closer to the kitchen. Mitch sniffed in disapproval as the movement of Auston’s chest dislodged him from his comfortable position.

“Okay, mom,” Mitch said with a smile. Mo glared at him slightly before settling on the other couch at the left of the room along with Gards and Naz.

“Can we do something else?” Mitch complained. He was getting bored of watching Kappy and Willy get killed in Fortnite.

Willy scoffed, “isn’t this so fun? How dare you bring up another activity?”

“Actually, this sucks,” Naz piped up. “You guys all suck at Fortnite.”

“It’s not like you’re any better,” Kappy shooted back.

“Yeah, I think it’s pretty boring too,” Mo drawled.

“Then what do you suggest we should do?” Willy said, unimpressed.

Auston shifted a little in his spot under Mitch, trying to get comfortable.

“Let’s just watch a movie or something,” Mitch suggested, moving around on purpose to annoy Auston. Auston reciprocated with a tight grip on Mitch’s leg. Mitch pinched Auston and revelled as he tensed.

Willy and Kappy groaned as Zach said, “I second that.”

“Whenever we watch a movie, you either fall asleep or judge me for talking about the movie,” Willy said to Zach.

“That’s because you never shut up!” Zach shouted. Kappy nodded with a serious face, wholly agreeing with Zach.

“We can gag him if it gets too bad,” Gards suggested. “Let’s just watch something, beats sitting around playing video games all night.”

Willy frowned, “you guys are boring. I should’ve made you guys go out or something.”

Everyone protested as jeers of cold weather and complaints of it being two days before a game night rang out.

“Fine! Fine! You’re all old and uninterested in having fun! We can watch a stupid movie. But I’m picking it and that’s that!”

“Yay!” Mitch screamed as he ran up and turned off the lights. He ran back towards the couch and flopped onto Auston, who let out a pained noise as Mitch hit him.

“I’m coming back from a shoulder injury, you know,” Auston said sarcastically.

“Shh, I know where your shoulders are, Auston. I don’t think anyone could miss them,” Mitch smirked. Auston scowled. It was too public a place for this. Mitch smiled and settled back down.

“Okay, I’ve got it!” Willy shouted. “We’re watching this.” It was a Netflix original movie about Santa Claus.

Mitch shrugged as Kappy, Naz, and Hymie started complaining about it instantly -- something about it being two weeks until Christmas. Willy hit play indignantly and ignored all protests. Mo and Gards were snickering together, probably about how stupid all their children were.

As the intro to the movie played, Mitch turned around so he faced Auston. He should probably try to be more subtle, but there was nothing that squeezed his heart like Auston’s happy smiles. His teeth gleamed with reflected light from the TV; they were so white. Mitch turned his head to the left, gauging his teammates’ immersion in the film. He shifted until he was lying between Auston’s body and the back of the couch on his side. He latched his arms onto Auston’s shoulder and quickly pecked him on the cheek, grinning when Auston turned his head. He snorted silently at Mitch, fake stretching and re-settling his arm so it was wrapped around Mitch. Mitch burrowed himself further into Auston’s neck, breathing in his heady scent. Auston nosed along Mitch’s head, closing his eyes briefly before smiling softly.

“You know what would make this Christmas awesome?” Auston whispered softly to Mitch.

“What?” Mitch asked in reply, opening his eyes to look at Auston. He was almost asleep.

“If we could spend it with our families. Together,” Auston smiled.

Mitch stopped.

“Uh, you mean like telling them?” Mitch said uneasily, voice pitching up.

“Yeah,” Auston frowned, “I’d love for Mama to meet you.”

“I don’t, I don’t think I can do that yet,” Mitch shifted. His hand came up to play with the cross around his neck, twisting it unsettledly.

Auston’s brows pinched. “Mitch? It’s been more than a year.”

“I just, I don’t feel _comfortable_ telling them. Maybe our teammates. But, it’s just. It’s too much.” His frown turned persistent. He could feel his eyes smarting and nose stinging. He didn’t want to think about this. Not when it was supposed to be the Welcoming Back Party for Willy.

“Mitch,” Auston said worriedly. There was that tone in his voice.

“I’m not breaking up with you!” Mitch whispered harshly. “And you better not break up with me! I love you, I just _need_ more time.”

“Be quiet! Look at those two being loud! No one gets on Matty or Mitchy’s ass, it’s always me!” Willy shouted while the rest of the group emerged in shushing noises.

Auston made a noise of disapproval, ignoring Willy’s shout, “that wasn’t what I meant, Mitchy. You know I don’t care.”

“I know, I know,” Mitch sniffled. “I just don’t want them to be disappointed in me.”

And wasn’t that the truth.

“Mitch,” Auston admonished. “Your family will always love you. They’re good people.”

“Yeah,” Mitch agreed in a tiny voice.

“We’re still good for Sunday right?” Auston asked tightly.

“We are,” Mitch sighed. He wasn’t going to deny Auston the chance of interacting with his family if he really wanted to that much.

He curled in a bit on himself. He didn’t want to ruin the good spirit of the party. He was close to tears.

He didn’t want to think of coming out to his Nana. He didn’t want to ruin her impression of him. He knew he was going to have to tell her about his relationship with Auston one day, especially because he knew they were _it_ , but he didn’t want to receive the backlash. He wanted all his family to love him and to never leave him. It would be terrifying if his Nana was ever displeased with him. He just wanted this happy period to last a while longer. Just a few more weeks and he’ll stop playing around.

There wasn’t a time where he ever wanted to be someone else this much.

Mitch sighed, pushing further into Auston’s side. Maybe he’ll just take a nap, for now, it was kind of late. 

***

And then it was Sunday.

The day where everything would either all fall into place or shatter into pieces.

He was waiting for Auston to come to his apartment. He was going to drive both of them to Oakville. There were still lingering thoughts of what could’ve happened if he was someone else. If he had decided not to be with Auston. But every scenario that he could think of made him unhappy. He would always circle back to Auston. There wasn’t a situation where he could be _Mitch_ without Auston.

His apartment door opened, revealing Auston in a charcoal grey suit. Full-on tie and everything.

“Auston,” Mitch laughed. “What are you wearing?”

“It’s my Sunday best,” Auston defended, coming over to Mitch to give him a peck.

“It should be called your Sunday Overboard. Just wear the dress-shirt. It’s fine by itself,” Mitch grinned.

Auston scowled and ripped his blazer off, getting started on his tie. His hands were shaking. Mitch snorted.

“What are you doing? Here, let me help.”

Mitch started on Auston’s tie, the tip of his tongue hanging out as he concentrated hard. He fumbled with it before finally untangling it.

“Done!” Mitch beamed.

“Thanks, babe,” Auston smiled, staring down at Mitch with an adoring look.

“No problem.” Mitch stood up slightly, bringing Auston into a sweet kiss.

Auston hummed, holding Mitch tight at the waist. The kiss deepened, Mitch sucking at Auston’s bottom lip and worrying at it with his teeth. Auston nipped Mitch back threateningly, making Mitch cry out.

“Ow,” Mitch lisped. “That actually kind of hurt.”

Auston shrugged, “you started it.”

“But you injured me,” Mitch pouted.

“Sure,” Auston scoffed.

“Hey! You want to be on my good side! Do you want me to throw you under the bus later?”

“Mitchy,” Auston whined. “I should’ve kept that tie and blazer on.”

Mitch laughed, “That doesn’t make any sense. Come on, if you’re ready we can leave now.”

  


“Sweet Caroline!” Mitch screamed, bopping his head along to the tune.

“Dun, dun, dun” Auston added, a little less enthusiastic.

“Good times never seemed so good!” Mitch turned and beamed quickly, trying to keep an eye on the road.

“I swear they always sing ‘so good, so good’ after that part,” Auston said.

“They don’t!” Mitch sing-songed. He felt really happy.

“You know, you’re always so happy before games, but it’s never been like this,” Auston beamed. “I mean, not that it isn’t great, I’ve just never seen it before.”

“I love my family,” Mitch said simply, grinning from ear to ear. Auston thought he looked so, so lovable.

“They’re lucky to have you.”

Mitch blushed. “Stop trying to butter me up! It won’t work on my Nana!”

“We’ll see about that,” Auston smirked, voice soft.

“Good luck! Because we’re here!” Mitch said gleefully. “Hurry up!” He’d forgone the breakfast with his family and instead decided to meet them at the church.

And yeah. It went absolutely amazing.

“Hi, Mrs. Marner, it’s great to see you,” Auston had greeted Mitch’s Nana when he first saw her. His smile was present again, blinding with its wholehearted sincerity.

“Is this Auston? Mitch! You didn’t tell him he was _this_ handsome in real life! Go ahead and call me Sadie, Auston!” Sadie exclaimed, pulling a surprised Auston into a big embrace.

“Nana,” Mitch whined as Auston uttered an unsure “sure, Sadie”.

“I see you’ve brought your teammate along,” Chris stated as he walked up to Mitch.

“Chris,” Paul sighed.

“So what?” Mitch said haughtily.

Chris said indignantly, “so you can bring someone to distract you when service gets boring but I can’t talk during it?”

“Service didn’t even start yet,” Mitch scoffed. “Plus. I’m not even talking to him right now. Look at Nana chatting him up!”

“Ooh, Nana’s chatting him up.”

“Chris,” Mitch warned.

“What?” Chris said innocently. “It’s just interesting that Nana took a liking to Aus so quickly! It’s like bringing your significant other to meet your parents.”

Well. At least he knew Chris supported him. Not that he had any doubts.

“Be quiet! I don’t want Nana to hear this,” Mitch whispered.

Chris snorted. “You know everyone would be very happy for you if you and Auston were really something.”

Mitch shook his head. He couldn’t risk that.

“It’s true,” Chris whispered adamantly. “We’re your family.”

“I know,” Mitch smiled sadly, catching Auston’s gaze while he was talking to Nana and his dad with his enthusiastic face. “And I love you for it, bro.” He gave Chris’s hair a ruffle, leaving him scowling.

He slid over to Auston, nudging him slightly. “What’s going on here?”

“Me and Nana were just telling Auston here about your time growing up in Toronto,” Paul smiled with a wicked glint.

“Dad, what have you done?” Mitch said.

“No, no,” Auston smirked, “it’s honestly really interesting. Pittsburgh makes the best Philly Cheesesteaks.”

“That was one time okay! I’m Canadian and I was five! I didn’t know Pittsburgh was in Pennsylvania and not Philly!” Mitch defended with crossed arms.

“Ooh, are we making fun of Mitch?” Chris tried to butt in. Mitch pushed him away, “go talk to your church friends.”

“I don’t have any church friends!” Chris yelled as he got dragged over by Paul. Auston hid a snort with a light cough.

“Oh Mitchell, here’s one! Do you remember that time when you asked me a question and I said you weren’t making any sense? You thought I said ‘cents’ and said that I wasn’t making any dollars!” Nana added, chuckling to herself.

That set off Auston who began laughing, practically dry heaving. Mitch groaned. “Are we here for service or a conversation about my apparently embarrassing childhood?”

“Hm, I guess we should go take a seat now. I’m going to try and find Paul. I need to talk about Chris with him. It’s great that you came Auston, go save a seat for us!” Sadie said, giving a little wave as she strode away from them.

Mitch smiled. “You heard the woman, let’s go sit down.”

“This is great,” Auston said as he sat down beside Mitch in the pews.

“I know,” Mitch grinned. “I love Sundays, but I’m not sure how much you’ll love it after the sermon and singing.”

“Psh,” Auston dismissed, “we all know I sing better than you. I’ll be fine.”

“Uh, I’m not sure if that’s what you want to say to your boyfriend, but okay,” Mitch joked.

Auston bumped their shoulders together, fingertips flexing against Mitch’s thighs. Chris plopped on the other side of Mitch suddenly with Nana and dad in tow, scaring Mitch as he twitched in his seat. His heart pounded as he got spooked like a horse.

“Oh my gosh, Chris!” Mitch startled. “Don’t do that!”

“Be quiet Mitchy,” Chris mocked, “service is about to start.” Mitch delivered a quick punch to Chris’s arm as Auston ducked his head to hide a smile. Mitch give a quick slap to him too.

As the singing started and the sermons began, Mitch was surprised that Auston was able to find intrigue in it. Reverend Chamberlain once again started his yearly Christmas sermon, this time more focused on family.

“...the birth of Jesus brought great joy to this world. And to all who lived in it. But most of all, it brought happiness to his family. There is nothing warmer and sweeter in life than the tender embrace of family. So this is why I remind all of you during this festive period, that family is important. This Christmas, I want all of you to remember all the good times and the ways you’re thankful for your family. Who was always there to support you? This Christmas, all that matters is being together…”

Mitch turned discreetly towards Auston, smiling softly. Auston returned the smile and sneaked his hand close to Mitch’s. His fingers latched onto Mitch’s fingers, loosely grasping onto each other in a careful hold.

At that moment, as the passionate sermon continued in the background, Mitch was more than content. The warmth of Auston’s hand around his converged with the overall comfort he felt in that moment. He was surrounded by people he loved that loved him back. He wished it could last forever.

***

Throughout the next week, they were on the road. Every two days they would be in a new city, but it was a good experience. Auston and he were sharing a room again, which made it easy for them to be together 24/7. Christmas was slowly ganging up on him. With only four days to go, it was hard not to be excited. Mitch had already wrapped and bought all of his presents; all of them were sitting in one of his closets back in his condo. It had taken him no longer than two hours at the mall to buy something for every member of his family -- Nana, Chris, dad, and Auston. Though he thought he might have spent the most time on Auston and the least time on Chris. Teenage boys always needed socks, right?

The last game they had was on the twenty-third. A match against the Red Wings in the home arena. After the last game against them, Mitch was sure everyone wanted to end the last game before the break with a bang.

With the way they were currently playing, maybe they really could. All four lines had been clicking for them -- with Auston and Willy brewing up a storm of goals and assists. Willy had finally gotten his groove back and contributed to the scoring race with many, many assists. And Mitch? Mitch was doing just fine, still playing one of his best seasons of hockey.

If he was being honest, it felt like nothing could bring him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the last chapter. we're almost done :)
> 
> btw i still dont want to offend any religion, so if theres anything off please tell me!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mitchy! One day, I swear you’ll give me a heart attack!” she exclaimed as she met up with him after the game against Tampa. It was in reference to how they were playing in the game.
> 
> “Nana!” Mitch scolded. “Don’t say that; you’re going to jinx it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two suggested songs: VANDERLIGHT by Stop Light Observations, and Nana by the 1975. 
> 
> also, there are probably triggers in this chapter? please take a look at the end notes if you feel there could be triggers for you. 
> 
> have fun guys :)

The Moms’ Trip had been a great experience for Mitch. It was like the stuff out of his dreams. All the female authority figures of all his teammates present at games? Nothing better. Of course, Mitch got really tripped up because of it too. His mom… well, she couldn’t go. But it was okay because his Nana could go. And she did.

And it was  _ awesome _ .

The team was able to do pretty well against the Canes, and despite the loss in Tampa, they still had many chances. It was safe to say his Nana wasn’t disappointed in the least.

“Mitchy! One day, I swear you’ll give me a heart attack!” she exclaimed as she met up with him after the game against Tampa. It was in reference to how they were playing in the game.

“Nana!” Mitch scolded. “Don’t say that; you’re going to jinx it!”

Sadie scoffed and slightly slapped Mitch in the arm, “I’ll say what I want to! Can you score for me during your next game, Mitchell?” Mitch knew that she was joking, that she didn’t place any real pressure on him to do so. But he wanted to score. He wanted to make her proud.

“Of course, Nana,” Mitch smiled. “It’ll be the prettiest goal you’ve ever seen.”

A voice rang out from behind them, “even prettier than my goals?” Mitch turned around to see Auston and Mama Matthews. 

Mitch scowled, “yeah, way prettier than yours.” Sadie and Ema exchanged a look, both stifling laughter. Auston caught up with him and bumped him with his body. Mitch went sideways and squawked. 

“Just because you’re jealous, doesn’t mean you have to body check me,” Mitch complained, shoving Auston back. 

“Says the one who’s retaliating,” Auston shot back with a quick smirk. 

“Alright, boys,” Sadie smiled. “Calm down, Mitchell.” She was huddled close to Ema, no doubt discussing the perils of having these boys to take care of.

“Be civil, Papi,” Ema laughed, running along and pulling Auston away. “Let’s give the Marners some space.” And as she dragged him away to the bus, Mitch could still hear the rapid-fire Spanish and Auston’s scowling responses. 

Mitch snorted and stood beside his Nana. 

“You and Mama Matthews got along great, eh?”

“We sure did,” Sadie responded. “I really admire how close she is to Auston and how much she cares for him. Not just about hockey, you understand, Mitch? That boy is really special, and I’m glad she understands that.” Sadie walked along slowly with Mitch, clutching her purse in a way that made her seem even wiser. Her face lighting up with a calm, happy smile.

“Woah, Nana, I guess you made a new friend then?” Mitch asked, trying to cover up the heat in his cheeks. It was one thing to think about your boyfriend’s awesome family and qualities and another to have your grandmother praise him and his mother.

“She’s a very respectable and friendly woman,” his Nana sniffed. Well. In her language, Ema was her new best friend. 

And, really, that was what Mitch expected. Ema Matthews was the kindest and warmest woman he’d met, next to his own family. And Nana made friends with everyone. It was bound to happen.

And even with a few bad losses from their road trip (well,  _ many _ ), the Moms’ Trip had really lifted Mitch’s spirits. His Nana really liked his boyfriend and his mother, even if she didn’t know Auston was his boyfriend yet. That was a step in the right direction, though. 

It also started Mitch on some pretty disastrous paths of thinking. One being his still secret relationship with Auston. If Nana had taken that well to meeting Auston and his mom, then it must mean that she liked him. Right? So should Mitch take that chance and run with it? He’s been beating himself up for weeks about the matter. He knows Auston cares as much about family as he does - it’s a big part of his life too. And now that they’re both a part of each other’s family, it would only make sense to introduce each other to parents and such. 

But then it all came back to that little detail. Would Nana accept him? He didn’t want to disappoint  _ anyone _ . Not his Nana, not Auston. He would have to tell Nana someday. But now would be a really bad time, with all the celebrations happening. Mitch didn’t want to ruin anyone’s holidays. 

So maybe he’ll just wait. He’ll wait until the swirling pit of emotions in his gut stopped swirling and for the new year to come. He’s going to do it. He promised himself. 

***

After the kind of horrendous Mom’s Trip, it was safe to say that the whole team had to get back into the rhythm of things. But it was as if no one could - especially with the holidays coming up. Mitch himself was a ball of excitement, the usual festive cheer rattled him up in a good way. He was ready to get the final game before their break over and done with. An irregular Sunday game on the twenty-third against the Panthers at home. They should be able to bag this one, no problem. If they couldn’t… well, he hoped they wouldn’t disappoint on Christmas Eve eve. 

And he guessed they did kind of disappoint.

The first two periods of the game were terrible. Mitch knew, the team knew, and Babs knew. They had been scored twice during the two periods, with Barkov being quite a nuisance. The only thing that kind of bothered Mitch was that he was wearing the same number as him. 

So the third period came, and Babs changed the lines up. Completely. And okay, Mitch would never object to what Babs thought was best. Obviously, he knew how to coach and Mitch didn’t. Plus, they were playing  _ really _ horribly. But Mitch didn’t want to get switched to the third line. In his mind, he  _ knew _ that the third line was really  _ good _ too. He would get to play with Patty and Naz, two players he’s played with before, and not to mention really freaking cool people. But there was still that tiny part of him that wanted to be on Auston’s line. It would be thrilling if he’d be able to assist Aus on a goal that got them closer to tying the game up. 

That didn’t happen, though. Fortunately, JT really helped them out a bit - tipping the puck in from a shot from Gards. That got things going.

And then, maybe because he was riled up because of the line change, he scored. It felt great. It’d been a few weeks since he last scored and he knew the media would be getting antsy on him. But then, Barkov had to ruin it for him again and score one in the following minutes to give a 3-2 lead to the Panthers. Mitch couldn’t let that happen. He shot again, and surprisingly he actually scored. He had a hard time believing it - but they held on and made it to overtime. Mitch wanted a hat-trick. 

And as overtime continued, Barkov and his buddies hounding their line, Mitch could feel how close they were to  _ winning _ . And then he got stripped of the puck. And then Barkov scored. No hatty for Mitch Marner, just one for Barkov. 

As the Panthers piled onto Barkov one by one, Mitch skated past them with a guarded look on his face. He was disappointed, much so in himself. They’d been so close to winning the game even if they weren’t wholly deserving of it. If he’d just held off Barkov for a few more seconds - kept the puck for a few more seconds, then maybe they could’ve won it. Maybe Auston could have scored again in the last 3.4 seconds. But, no. Mitch ruined it. And he felt terrible for it. He put his head down all throughout the walk to the changing room, following his teammates without uttering a word. Mo gave him a friendly pat in appreciation as he made his way to his stall, but he didn’t really understand it. 

He plowed through with media - spitting out random sentences that he forgot as they left his mouth. He wasn’t even sure if the answers made sense. The joy and excitement of scoring those two goals had completely dissipated. He felt kind of numb. 

And as the media lumbered back out, leaving behind scattered players, Auston came by and sat down with Mitch. He was thankful for him. 

“You did good, Mitchy,” Auston said, nudging Mitch with a hand. 

“Thanks,” Mitch replied, sighing and scrubbing through his sweat-soaked hair. 

“Hey,” Auston said softly, staring at him with a concerned look. “You scored two goals. That was amazing. Without them, we wouldn’t have even made it to OT.”

Mitch smiled emptily, “I guess so.” He just wanted to hug Auston. 

Auston held out his fist, an acceptable gesture in the glaring visibility of the change room. Mitch bumped it lightly, a real smile quirking at his lips despite his frustrations. Auston beamed back in response, brushing his fingers across Mitch’s knuckles in a quick motion as he went back to his own stall. That simple little touch made Mitch’s heart beat faster. 

His phone buzzed several times in his bag, scaring Mitch. That earned him a glance from JT. 

“You okay there, Mitch?” John questioned, throwing some tape into his own bag. 

“Never better,” Mitch replied, flushing a bit. JT turned back with a small smirk. Mitch grabbed his phone — finding two missed calls from his dad, a few messages, and a voicemail. Shit. 

He read the few messages from his dad first, stomach dropping. 

_ dad, 8:23 PM _

_ Nana’s in the hospital from a car crash. I know you have a game, but I just wanted to tell you _

_ dad, 9:45 PM _

_ Chris and I’ve been there for some time now, she’s not doing well _

_ dad, 10:12 PM _

_ We’re at Oakville-Trafalgar Memorial, you should come as quick as possible _

***

“Aus,” Mitch whimpered, voice shaking with emotion. 

“Mitch, baby,” Auston responded, glancing over from the driver’s seat, “what’s wrong?” Mitch was curled into a ball on his seat in the passenger side, flipping his phone back and forth in his hands. He looked too small and fragile as he worried at his lip. 

Mitch hesitated. “Are… are you sure you want to come with me?”

Auston froze. “Did you not want me to come?” Auston’s voice was slow, methodical, nothing malicious in his tone. 

“I do!” Mitch said hurriedly, “I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. She’s… not doing well. The car crash was bad.” Mitch looked away, the lights outside of the car window flashing by quickly on the highway. 

Auston swallowed thickly. He reached over and grabbed Mitch’s hand, the grip back was tight. Mitch really appreciated the thought. 

“Did your dad tell you what happened on the phone?” Auston asked gently. 

“Yeah,” Mitch sighed. “A drunk driver hit my Nana while she was having a walk. I don’t even know why she was walking outside so late, I mean, it happened at like eight pm. That’s late, isn’t it? It was dark outside since five pm. I just—” Mitch cut himself off. He felt a sob rising up. He had to stop speaking before he worked himself to tears. 

Auston tightened his fingers, giving Mitch’s hand a reassuring squeeze. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing and cause Mitch more pain. Mitch took a deep breath, lungs quivering and nose stinging. 

“Hey Mitch,” Auston said quietly. “I’m here with you.” Mitch laughed shakily, the sound coming out kind of wet. He shook his head, wiping at his eyes with his free right hand. 

He turned his head to look at Auston, eyes red and hurting, “thanks, Auston.” He meant it so much. Auston took his eyes off the road briefly and gave Mitch a tender smile. 

“Always here for you, babe,” Auston replied honestly. 

“Oh!” Mitch said. “It’s the next exit!” 

Auston shook his head mildly, “I know, Mitchy.”

Mitch cleared his throat, in a small voice he said, “‘kay.” Auston took his hand off from Mitch’s for a second to make the turn off before squeezing Mitch’s hand again.

For the remainder of the car ride to the hospital, they just sat there in silence. Mitch was thankful for Auston not trying to make any more conversation; he needed the time to think. After reading those texts and a quick phone call to his dad, Mitch’s head went blank. He knew he had to get to the hospital fast. In Oakville. His hands had been shaking, brain not quite sure what to do. He was really glad Auston offered to drive him, even if it meant for Auston wasting hours driving and waiting. Hours that could be spent resting at home. 

Yeah. His boyfriend was awesome. 

Despite all his attempts to not worry about the nature of Nana’s accident or state of being, Mitch’s mind still wandered back to it. He already lost one important woman in his life, did that mean he was about to lose a second? There were so many things he hadn’t gotten around to do with Nana yet — including a tour around Europe. Nana loved Europe and she hadn’t been there before. 

And there was still a thought wriggling around in his mind — Auston. He never got to tell Nana about Auston. Maybe he’d never get to tell her. _ Wouldn’t that be terrible,  _ Mitch thought as his heart twinged. He clenched his teeth. There was the sick nauseous feeling of worry again, of anxiety pushing around inside of him. He’d tell Nana now. As soon as he got to the hospital, he’d tell her about Auston. Screw waiting until after the Holidays, there wasn’t anything else more important than his relationship with Auston. 

  
  
  
  
  


Mitch took a deep breath, walking towards the front reception. He looked back, searching for Auston’s presence. Auston nodded solemnly, following behind him silently. 

He reached the front desk, resting both his arms on top of the counter. He tried to smile in a polite manner, but he was sure it came out all wrong. “I’m here to see Sarah Marner,” Mitch said shakily. He felt the rush of air as Auston stopped beside him. 

The lady sitting there smiled back politely, “and you are?”

“Mitch Marner,” he replied, “her grandson.” If the woman recognized him she didn’t show it.

“And the gentleman beside you?” she asked. Mitch glanced quickly at Auston, who seemed very focused on the conversation. 

“He’s… a friend,” Mitch bit his lip. “He’s helping out with the family right now.” 

“Okay, she’s located in the ICU right now, which is on the southern wing of the second floor. It’s supposed to be quiet hours right now, but I understand it’s a tough situation,” she informed them gently. “Please be mindful of our patients.” 

“Yes,” Mitch said, “yes, of course. Thank you so much, ma’am.” And with that, he dragged Auston with him to the elevator. 

It seemed like ages before they got to the second floor. Mitch’s breaths were coming out quicker and shorter than before, he was getting kind of light-headed. His Nana was in the Intensive Care Unit. That never meant anything good. 

“Mitch,” Auston said. “Come back.” Auston’s face was creased with worry, eyebrows crinkled. He wanted to hold onto Mitch and wrap him up in blankets and shield him from the world. But he couldn’t. So he settled for a quick side-hug. As soon as Auston’s arm was fully around Mitch, he melted into Auston’s side. It felt really comfortable and warm. Kind of like a cocoon. 

Mitch hid his face in Auston’s neck for a second, briefly breathing in his comforting scent before straightening up and trying to put up a semblance of self-control. He was trying to pull all the pieces of his body together so he acted and looked like a real functioning human being. He was probably feeling the exact opposite of that at the moment. 

Mitch made sure to walk very close to Auston on the way to the ICU wing, occasionally brushing his hand across Auston’s and linking their fingers together. He felt his phone buzz quite a few times in his pocket — probably a few anxious teammates, cough-cough Mo, who were checking up on him. He’d told them it was a family emergency, but it was nice to see them following up. Mitch would respond later. 

As Mitch and Auston finally made it to the waiting room of the ICU, Mitch’s heart started pounding even more. This was it. His mouth went dry, throat working to swallow something. Whenever Mitch’s life changed, he never really realized it. He went along with the flow, pushing through all the obstacles even when things were hard. A life-changing moment had never seemed life-changing before. But he knew this was one. 

Mitch looked around the deserted room, easily picking out Chris sprawled across one of the sparsely padded chairs. He quickly glanced at Auston, looking worried and biting his lip. Auston gave him a friendly and encouraging nudge and gently pushed him forward. Mitch rushed towards Chris in a few strides, plopping down beside him quickly. 

“Chris,” Mitch greeted anxiously, “what’s happening?” 

Chris glanced at him solemnly, face fiercely miserable, and wiped his face. The tear tracks remained. “They said she’s not going to make it.” 

The air in Mitch’s lung was punched out. He felt like he got run over by a Zamboni. He couldn’t keep his desperate gasp for air quiet. His pounding heart only started accelerating even more; he was kind of scared it would jump out of his chest. Mitch breathed in and out, trying not to get some oxygen back in his bloodstream. He couldn’t focus on anything, it was too much. He was thinking about nothing and everything at once. He was breathing too fast, he knew it, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t know how to stop. 

“Mitch?” Mitch heard Chris call out timidly. Mitch straightened, remembering his baby brother. That’s right. It was hard for him too. He wasn’t the only one who was going through a difficult time, Mitch reprimanded himself. 

He tried to say something, tried to say he was fine, but all that came out was a large sob. He knew how to form words, he just didn’t want to. His breathing was still rapid and short, sporadic little bursts of inhalation. A big hand rested on his back, rubbing soothingly across it. It was warm. 

“Mitch,” Auston whispered to him gently. “Come on baby, take a deep breath. Inhale for a few seconds.” Only Mitch could hear the words. He risked a glance at Chris and only saw very concerned eyes looking back.

Mitch tried to breathe. He really did. He heaved for a few seconds, tears leaking from his eyes. The hand on his back continued its motion, trying to get Mitch to breathe at the same rate it was moving at. Mitch stopped for a second, closed his eyes and tried to shut the voice in his head up. He dropped his head into both his hands, tugged on his hair, and  _ breathed _ **_._ ** He felt his lungs expand, head feeling a little bit clearer. He exhaled - air rushing out. He counted to five as he inhaled, then exhaled for five more. Okay. It was fine. Everything was going to be  _ fine _ . 

“That’s it, Mitchy,” Auston murmured into his ear as his heavy hand remained a comforting weight on his back. “Breathe for me babe, I don’t want you to faint.” Mitch’s lips quirked up a tiny bit as he got his breathing back into order. 

Mitch wiped at his eyes, “I’m sorry Chris. I’m sorry.” His eyes burned. “I know you don’t want to see me like this. C’mere.” He smiled thankfully at Auston before gathering a distressed Chris into his arms. Chris held onto him tightly, burying his face into Mitch’s shoulder. Mitch patted Chris’s back gently, feeling moisture seep into his dress shirt. 

“Let it out Chris,” he mumbled softly. “It’ll feel better.” Chris let a few sobs out, hands fisting at Mitch’s shirt. It wrenched Mitch’s heart to see his little brother cry.

A few of the nurses walking past smiled ruefully, sad to see the depressing display. Auston smiled back with melancholy. 

“It’ll be okay Chris,” Mitch said, hugging Chris from side to side. Chris cried out harder, sniffling and wiping at his own face with the back of his hand.

“Mitch? You’re here?” a concerned voice called out from the front of the room that led to all the ICU units. 

Mitch shifted his head quickly, dislodging Chris in the process, and seeing his dad. His dad nodded at Auston, who returned the gesture with a sad wave. 

“Hi, dad,” Mitch greeted hoarsely, still sniffling a bit after his brief… breakdown. 

“Do you want to come to see Nana? She’s in unit sixteen. Only one visitor is allowed at a time,” Paul said, eyes bloodshot only from a few hours of staying at the hospital.

Mitch cleared his throat, gently working Chris off of him, “yeah. I’ll go.” He stood up, ruffled Chris’s hair and walked past his dad. His dad took a hold of his arm and whispered discreetly to Mitch, “The doctors told me some things. The driver that hit Nana’s okay. But Nana’s brain has been punctured. Her brain is hemorrhaging. She’s in a coma and the damage is irreparable. She’s not going to wake up, Mitch. The doctors say she’s not going to make it past the night. I just wanted to let you know what’s going on. I know it’s hard, Mitch.” Paul’s voice wobbled. “I’m proud of you, okay, son?” Mitch nodded, throat tightening. Mitch turned back towards Auston. “Stay outside the door?” he asked him pleadingly. He was hoping for a miracle.

“For sure, Mitchy,” Auston nodded, vehemence in his tone. 

Mitch gingerly walked into the corridor of ICU units, trying not to take stock of all the other gravely injured patients. Gravely injured loved-ones. Mitch took a shuddering breath.

He reached unit sixteen with uncertainty, looking behind him at Auston for support. “I’m so, so sorry,” Mitch apologized to Auston, ashamed for dragging him into his own family troubles.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Auston reprimanded Mitch and gingerly nudged him. 

Mitch smiled sadly and clutched at Auston’s dress shirt. He took a deep breath, braving on and entering unit sixteen. 

A nurse was checking her vitals. “Oh, hello,” she greeted with a kind smile. 

“Hi,” Mitch said warily and loitered at the edge of the door, mouth turning up slightly at the corners. He didn’t want to be rude. 

“I’m Anna, one of the nurses that are taking care of Sarah,” she said. 

“Oh, I’m her grandson, Mitch,” Mitch smiled bashfully. “Thank you for…” Mitch stopped.

“I’ll give you a moment, Mitch,” Anna smiled again, writing something down onto a clipboard. She brushed past him with an understanding look and smiled at Auston by the door.

Mitch focused on the hospital bed in the centre of the room. His Nana was on a hospital bed, slightly upraised. She looked tiny. Well. Mitch had always thought she was tiny, being only 5’5”, but this was different. The bed looked like it was too big for her body, engulfing her in its white and navy material. There was a white bandage on the side of her head, crisp and clean. But there was blood that seemed to be soaking through, just a hint of pink showing up through the white. Her face was pale, scrapes and bruises and cuts were scattered across her body. The upper left side of her face was the most condensed area, with purpling bruises patching out across her eye. 

“Oh god,” Mitch let out, eyes tearing up again. Both of his hands went up to his mouth as he tried to hide his shock. She did look like she was about to die.

Mitch walked closer to the bed, the beeping of the machines scaring him a little. He sniffed, trying to unclog his nose. He wiped his eyes with the heel of both hands, really digging them in. “Okay,” Mitch mumbled to himself. “Okay, you can do this.” 

He looked to the door, where he saw Anna was still close to. “Can I—can I hold her hand?” he asked. His voice was tiny and unsure. 

Anna looked up from her clipboard and nodded with feeling, “just be careful, okay hon?” 

Mitch nodded quickly, sniffling. He looked at the hand closest to him, the one that didn’t have many wires and tubes sticking out of it, and clasped it with both his hands. He tried to hold on as gently as he could. He knelt down, uncaring that his slacks might get dirty. The tears were really leaking out of his eyes now. Sometimes he just starts crying and it never ends. 

“Nana,” he whispered. “Nana, I love you. I just wanted to tell you that first. But, it’s Christmas soon, do you really have to go so soon?” He looked away from her face, muffling a cry in his shoulder. “I’m still waiting on a miracle, I guess. They’re saying it’s bad. You’re in a coma, and… you’ve always been there for me. I don’t want you to ever leave me. And I know I’m not the only one you’ll leave behind, I know, I don’t want to be selfish. Remember when you wanted to know about my secrets? Well, I do have one. I’m dating Auston. If you wake up, I’ll just have to tell you again.” Mitch went silent for a moment.

“I hope, if you move on, you’ll find what you’re looking for. You’ll see mom, and Pops. I love you so so much. And so does Chris, and dad, and Aunt Chrissy. We’ll always be here for you, Nana.” 

He got up slowly, feeling the blood rush back into his feet. He kept holding onto her hand. He didn’t want to let go. He pressed a gentle kiss to her hand, setting it down on the bed slowly and left the unit with eyes smarting, nose running, and heart aching. 

Mitch reached the door, finding Auston looking at him with a sad face. 

“Why are you sad?” Mitch asked, voice nasally from the blockage in his nose. It was an innocent and honest question. Auston’s hand came up to hold his wrist, fingers rubbing across his pulse. 

“You’re sad,” Auston answered simply. Mitch ducked his head, crying profusely as everything sank in. 

Mitch opened his mouth to say something, but he was startled by the furiously beeping of machines coming from his Nana’s room. He turned around quickly and could only stare as Nurse Anna rushed in with a flood of different personnel. He blinked away a tear as the heart monitor flatlined. 

“...time of death is 11:54 PM,” a doctor said clearly. It was muffled through Mitch’s ears. 

There was nothing Mitch could do besides stand frozen in shock as Auston pulled him into a tight hug. 

***

The next day, Mitch found himself at his old house in North York. The house where he grew up. It was decorated very festively, perhaps weeks in advance of Christmas. Strings of vibrant red and green LED lights lined the eavestroughs and the columns leading up to the porch. Little reindeer and Christmas trees made from bright yellow and white lights were arranged on the front lawn. A green wreath accented with red berries and ribbons was hung on the middle of the door. A light dusting of snow completed the picturesque look of the house.

The inside of the house matched the outside too. Tinsel and tiny lights were strung about the rooms, fake strings of pine needles wrapped around hand railings and across various walls. The main sight, however, was the giant Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. It was shining bright white and gold from lights, ornaments hanging heavy off of branches. Mitch had made a few of them. The topper was one that was decades old - a little angel that Nana had made when his dad was a little boy. There was even the scent of gingerbread and cinnamon coming from the candles they had lighted. 

Even with the festive decorations, the mood was sombre. They sat at the dinner table, each playing around their plates of food. Even Mitch’s Aunt Chrissy came into town from Montreal. She was an artist and his dad’s older sister. She’d been devastated to hear about the news.

“Guys, come on,” Aunt Chrissy said. “I didn’t bake this turkey for five hours for nothing.” She was only trying to lighten the mood. Mitch appreciated it. He was still trying not to cry over what had happened. 

“We got it, Chrissy,” Paul smiled wryly. “It’s really good.”

“Thanks,” she replied, upbeat. Chris sighed, holding his head up with one hand. He was old enough to understand things, though. 

After everything that had happened a few hours ago with Nana, Mitch felt wrong. That cross felt heavy on his chest again. He didn’t like it. Nana had passed away. She passed away without ever knowing the truth about Mitch. He tried to tell her, he really did. But she’d never know. That was the only thing that killed Mitch the most. This Christmas Eve could’ve been very different. He could’ve shown up with Auston at dinner, and Nana would be surprised but welcoming. And he’d drop the bomb that they were dating. And maybe they would spend the rest of the night laughing and singing together as they ate cookies that his Nana made. And Auston would be in the center of it, smiling that stupid grin that Mitch loved.

But that couldn’t happen anymore. So he sat there during dinner with a knife in his heart, shovelling in turkey that should’ve tasted delicious because his Aunt had made it. But it didn’t taste good. It tasted like cardboard.

No. Mitch couldn’t live like this. 

“I have something to tell you guys,” Mitch started hesitantly. His heart pounded as he felt his body get colder. Despite that, he felt moisture on his armpits. 

“Yeah, Mitch?” Aunt Chrissy prompted, waving a fork in his direction. His dad looked at him with a concerned face and Chris only averted his eyes to him. 

“I’m… I’m dating Auston,” he said. Mitch looked at everyone cautiously, trying not to squirm. He wasn’t going to lie anymore. He didn’t want to keep any more people in the dark. 

“Auston? Auston Matthews?” his dad reiterated slowly. Chris sent a supporting smile in his direction before his face reverted back to that bored despair. 

“Yeah,” Mitch answered, breathless. Aunt Chrissy only grinned. 

“That’s great, Mitch,” his dad smiled, reaching over and clapping him on the back. “How long?” 

“Um, I think almost a year now,” Mitch smiled shakily. He set his utensils back down. 

“That’s… quite a long time,” his dad said. “I bet Nana and Mom would’ve both been delighted.” Mitch looked at him quickly. 

“Are you sure?” He tried to keep his tone normal, but it had miserably failed. 

“Mitch,” Aunt Chrissy reprimanded, voice stern, “of course! They loved you! We love you! Whoever you date won’t make us think less of you.” 

“Yeah, Mitch,” Chris butted in. “I told you so.”

Mitch could only dumbly say, “oh.” He still felt terrible. 

Later on, after dinner was finished, the atmosphere felt better. It was lighter, less tense, but Nana’s passing was still fresh on everyone’s mind. They had moved onto their other tradition of Christmas Eve, watching a movie marathon of the Home Alone series and Elf. 

Mitch was curled up on the side sofa, sitting with the popcorn bowl while being smothered underneath a thick blanket. Chris was lying across the biggest couch, sharing with his dad. Aunt Chrissy came to sit beside him as the first Home Alone movie started. 

“You know, Mitch,” she started, whispering to him in the darkness of their living room. “Nana had talked to me about how impressed she was with Auston.”

Mitch looked over from his cocoon, “yeah?”

“Yes,” she answered with a smile. “Auston was kind, gentle, and he even laughed at all your jokes. She really would’ve been happy with your relationship.”

Mitch bit his lip.

“But she didn’t know,” Mitch said. “She didn’t know, and the only reason I didn’t tell her was because of this.” He gestured to the necklace under his Christmas sweater. He frowned a little. 

“Mitchy,” she said. “Don’t think like that. It wasn’t your fault for not telling her. I know you must’ve been really scared. But we’re very happy,  _ all _ of us, that you told us. We love you.” She wrapped an arm around Mitch. “You know what? Why don’t you invite Auston?”

“Auston?”

“Yeah. I mean, unless he’s busy, and I guess it is also kind of late. But I think… I think we’d all enjoy it. Don’t you think?” Aunt Chrissy grinned. 

“I guess I could,” Mitch mumbled, pulling out his phone. 

  
  
  
  


As Mitch sat on Auston’s lap, wrapped around in his limbs and watching Harry and Marv sustain multiple injuries from Kevin’s pranks, he felt… okay. There was still the sadness and pain that came from losing Nana, especially since he hadn’t told her about something important, but he’d get there. Changes happened every day and everyone always adjusts to it. There will be a day in the near future where he won’t feel terrible about Nana being gone. He’ll only remember the good times and her memory would always be in happiness. There was that brief flash of ice-cold fear as he thought about death.

But it was fine because he was living.

Mitch burrowed deeper into Auston’s lap, causing the hands that Auston had placed on his thighs to tighten. He turned around, pressed his forehead against Auston’s, and closed his eyes. One of Auston’s hands came up and cradled his cheek gently. Mitch reached up and loosely held it. 

He opened his eyes. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Auston smiled, kissing him soundly on the mouth. 

Mitch smiled against Auston’s lips as he heard Chris fake-gagging in the background while his dad smacked him and Aunt Chrissy’s camera went off. 

This was his family. And Mitch loved them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGERS/WARNINGS:  
> mitch's nana gets into a car accident, she's in a coma and does not make it. mitch in return suffers through a breakdown/panic attack (idek how to describe it, i just write from experience). if there's anything else that i missed please let me know in the comments! but i really feel like thats the extent of it...
> 
> anyways...
> 
> 1\. this fic was brought to you by the amalgamation of philosphical questions that i think about on a daily basis and my curiosity of religion. you can probably see some of it shine through in it. (also quick shoutout and thank you to amy for answering my stupid questions)
> 
> 2\. i dont know how to write. my writing style changes every hour.
> 
> look out for another au (ha are we surprised) soon! i havent decided what yet, maybe marnthews royal au or sparks/dermie petit prince au WE'LL SEE.
> 
> finally, thank y'all for reading :))

**Author's Note:**

> So, any thoughts?
> 
> If you liked this fic, leave me a kudos, and if you really liked it leave a comment down below! Come talk to me on tumblr: www.mitcheemarns.tumblr.com (hyperlink is not workingggg)


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